Boy Toys

     There has been a coup in our household this past month as air soft guns with plastic bullets have usurped Nerf guns with their foam bullets as the weapon of choice in Paul's playtime battles. At this point Paul has moved up to a semiautomatic pistol and wants an automatic rifle.  We've told him to save up his money so he can buy it himself and I expect he'll have one by summertime. 

     I have bowed to the inevitable, but I have mixed feelings about this step up in weapon technology.

     On the one hand, I respect the independence that Paul shows in pursuing this interest.  Neither Ben nor I are interested in guns, so this is one of those areas where Paul is on his own.  It's true that we fund this interest, having bought Paul's first air soft gun for Christmas and later purchasing extra guns for his friends to use when they are here.  But these purchases are driven by his interests, not by ours.  He's on his own in figuring out what types of guns he wants and how they work.  It's not as simple as one might think.  Apparently there are three systems that drive the pellets out of this guns, and the guns themselves range from plastic pistols that shoot one pellet at a time and cost $2 to fully automatic metal assault rifles that cost $200 and up.  And whereas Nerf guns are made by Nerf, various companies make air soft guns.  And playing with air soft guns can be as simple as going outside and shooting at a target for a few minutes to joining teams in elaborate games in constructed arenas and forts.  Paul is gradually figuring all this out for himself, and I respect that independence. 

     I also appreciate the fact that Paul most enjoys playing with guns in teams.  It's interesting to watch him and his friends work out the rules of a team game and develop both their physical and social skills as they play it.  His cousins and his friends both here and in Pennsylvania all play and I wouldn't want him to be left out.  

    And I appreciate the precision and skill that good shooting takes.  I've told Paul that when he wants to shoot a real gun we'll get someone to teach him how to safely and accurately handle a gun on a shooting range.  I might even join him.

    But throughout history real guns have been used to do horrible things to people, and I don't want Paul to not understand the true harm they can do.  Right now everything is pretend and no one is really hurt no matter how many times they are "hit."  Paul says he knows that real life is different, but he doesn't really know, not the way we, his parents, know.

     Learning the sad truths of life ---including the fact that real guns really do kill people -- will force Paul towards maturity.  I know this is right, that it is necessary, and that it would be horribly unpleasant for both parent and child if it did not happen.  This past year we've seen so much growth and maturity from Paul and I've been happy.  But there's a part of me that would like to spare him from the harsh realities of life, to keep him young and innocent.  I'm sorry that he has to learn that every day people take real guns and kill real people, even little kids, that it's not fun and they don't get up and walk away.

    I'm grateful that he wasn't forced by a harsh life to learn this earlier, and I can only hope that his sheltered-enough childhood has prepared him to face life's realities with a loving and grateful heart.