Oh, the Places You'll Go!

This year the theme of Boulder High's After Prom was "Oh, the Places You'll Go," drawn from the  Dr. Seuss classic which is often used at graduation times to urge students onward:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...” 

But it seems to me that by the time kids are in high school they have already steered their course and have taken their parents along with them.  How a parent actually experiences being a mother or father depends a great deal on their child's interests and personality.  As teens become more independent and make their own choices, parents have less control over where their children take them. 

If your child loves soccer and plays competitively, you are likely to have spent a great deal of time driving them to games all over the state and will end up knowing a great deal about soccer and being a "soccer parent."  "The places you go..." for that family is entirely different than for a family of a child who isn't interested in team sports.

If that same child tends to be a bubbly personality with a naturally optimistic outlook, those car trips to and from games may be filled with fun discussions, laughter, and the sharing of confidences.  For a more anxious or introverted child they may be filled with worried fretting about the game or sullen silence after a loss.  I'm not passing judgment on which child is "best," just pointing out that the experience for the parent is different.

Generally people come to parenting with high hopes that raising a child will be fun, interesting, and rewarding.  No one decides to become a parent because they need more troubles and challenges.  But the reality is that parenting is all those things.  One moment you're enjoying life with your smart, talented and successful kid and the next you're plunged into hell with a knucklehead who has made a bad choice, or a child who is desperately sick, or one who hasn't talked to you in two days and you don't know why. 

"The places you'll go" as a parent are amazing diverse.

As kids graduate from high school they chose different routes, depending on their maturity, circumstances, talents and inclinations.  One decides to go on a mission for their church; another decides to backpack through Europe; another decides to attend a local community college; another gets a full scholarship to Stanford.  Yes, parents can and do guide and influence their children, but so often the child leads the way, taking us into worlds we never otherwise would have visited or carefully leading us away from worlds we'd like to share with them.

In our case Paul has decided not to go on to college next year.  Instead, he'll live at home, working part time for our friend Ray and developing his interest in running live sound systems for concerts and theaters.  Ben and I would have enjoyed going down the college path with him, but we'll be sharing a different journey with Paul for at least the next year.

So on this Mother's Day I tip my hat to all parents who are hanging in there lovingly sharing their child's journey despite having little control over the path or the destination. And I'm grateful that my own journey with Paul has been largely a fun and rewarding one.

He's a great kid and who knows the places he'll go!