Friday, September 30, 2011

Through the Fog

It's been almost two weeks since my mother died and a week since her funeral. This is the end of my first week back at work, most of which I moved through in a fog of exhaustion, denial, and sadness. The exhaustion is lifting now, and the sadness is at bay, probably thanks to the denial. Facts do have to be faced, but not necessarily in the middle of a work and school week. That will come in the quiet, reflective times that I know I'll need to carve out over the next few months.

A friend sent me a garden angel to keep me company during those quiet moments. Having suffered her own losses in the past two years, she knows that moving through grief takes time and contemplation.

My friends and colleagues have been so thoughtful. I've appreciated every card and expression of sympathy, and have been so touched how people have shared the trials and grief they have suffered and pulled through. It seems to be true that one outcome of our own suffering is compassion and empathy for the suffering of others.

And now it is the last day of September. I've always felt that October marked the true beginning of fall, and our weather is cooperating, with a sudden switch to chilly nights and cooler days. I've always felt that this was one of the best times of the year.

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